I can't remember when I first got into lolita. I tried at first, many years ago, but it didn't feel quite right and I wasn't feeling the best at the time; wearing such an elegant fashion simply wasn't for me. So I stayed my goth self and spent a lot of time and money in dolls. Then it didn't satisfy me anymore, and lolita became the obvious path. I felt like I could finally live up to my own expectations, in some way.
The very first dresses I ever saw were VM and MM classics and I didn't even really know anything else existed. When I got back, it was with Angelic Pretty. Sweet became the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I remember seeing the Memorial Cake series going out of stock on the then Japanese website and feeling desperate for it. This was around 2009. I got it eventually, and I immediately knew there was no turning back.
This fashion has brought me so much. It is so much more than clothes, and I feel it's time I expressed my heartfelt feelings about all I've gained and experienced all these years.
Preferred aesthetic : melancholic ghost lady. I have always been sad that my face doesn't suit sweet, because sweet makes me happy. Still, I feel like with time and practise I'm not doing too bad at the ethereal gothic look and this is already something.
Taking outfit pictures has been a real therapy. Seeing the person in the photos become more and more like what I wanted to express, to be like, is truly a wonderful feeling. It has erased the past self-depreciation and gave me something to look forward to. It is much more than looks, all that's changed with and through my numerous self-portraits.
From this came my love for photography. It is no secret I like pretty pictures, wether painted or photographed. But with all I learnt and the care I took from taking pictures of myself came the wish and joy to take pictures of other people too. The most important thing is always to ensure that people I photograph will like themselves on their pictures, because I know how important that is.
You deserve some old picture as an illustration of the early days. How far away they seem !
Meeting people & making friends from all over the world.
I got to meet so many wonderful wonderful people from around the world. People I admired, and also people that became friends. I got to meet my two lolita idols, Iira and Kammie, who are the nicest and gentlest people there ever was.
I realize I don't even have a picture with so many others ! To all the people not pictured here; I love you too. And I am looking forward to seeing so many people ! Martha, Yanise and all the American lovelies from LVER as well as all the other fun and wonderful persons I'm dying to meet; Thali, Lindzi, Angela and all the Australian friends, I hope we can meet or meet again ;w;
Love them all so much !
Two other people I really admire.
Met Herajika at Frock On, didn't dare to ask with a picture with her, I'm still sad about it !
The Most Amazing Person
It is incredibly hard to express what I want to say here, because I am both extremely emotional and generally feeling stuff very deeply, and bad with words.
To think that we got to know each other because we liked each other's outfits and had the chance to meet because of lolita is crazy. I would never have expected to meet someone this wonderful. And yet I did, and I feel so lucky, the luckiest. Mila inspires me so, so much, in everything. We see things alike and yet we are different enough to keep growing; we are the most logical yet silly people I know and I love us for it. She soothes my soul and revives my mind, and to be and share with her is the joy of my life.
She is the one that keeps me going, the one I want to be here for every single day of my life; the one I love.
Taking pictures of Mila forever is also pretty close to heaven in my book.
The dearest of friends
We got to know each other through friends of friends and at some point we all come together and that was it. We are quite amazing and quite hilarious, if I might say so myself. We'll be here for each other as much as we can and it is what matters most.
But even beyond our little Team, all the other close lovelies are in my heart too <3
French Café & Organizing events
Much has happened with the same bunch of dear friends and coming together to take things into our own hands and organize events for the lovers of this fashion, the very thing that brought us together; and to be able to do it as we dreamt it, as we wanted it, is someting I still can't quite realize. It is difficult at times, but it is so worth it.
I love my team and every single person that trusted us and came along and enjoyed our events with us.
Dreamy we are.
Very related to events; I wish I could spend my life taking lolita photos. I really do. To be able to be an official photographer at Enchanted has been a wonderful experience and one I am hoping to renew soon. In the meantime, I still have my also very official muse Mila with whom I am always looking forward to shoot.
These are inexpected, truly. Being able to model for Grimoire was like a dream, yet I feel like a potato on stage and I don't think I'll apply for anything of the like in the near future because it just isn't for me, but being able to it even once was magical. Ah, but pictures though ! Pictures I can work with. I am still not over that picture with Mila taken for Triple Fortune, it is my favourite of us. (Maybe we can see more one day~)
Meeting icons from the fashion
And it is something I am so happy about this fashion; meeting the designers, models and artists is something very accessible. Meeting the very ones who create what we love so much is an amazing opportunity and though I wish every brand to grow and grow, I am very glad that this is still very much niche fashion only for that fact.
Moco and Kimura U are both darlings.
From Btssb Tea Parties, Midori, Masumi Kano & Misako
The ones I look up to for their art; Yuko from Atelier Pierrot and Minori
My faves, the kindest and funniest, Babi & Kaie as well as Neb Aaran Do team. Lovelies.
I also got to meet the doll artist Etsuko Miura in Paris due to lolita. I didn't take any pictures at the time, it was a long time ago, but still one of my most memorable meetings, one I am forever happy and grateful for.
I very much wish to meet Kira Imai and Nakamura Asumiko now. The later is some sort of wild dream, but a girl can hope, right ?
I've been drawing since pretty much forever, and for the longest time I didn't dare to draw lolita. It was something I felt I could not do. Until I did. And since then I have been very happily drawing the fashion I like and the people I like too.
It may sound silly but I have met many lovely people from doing commissions and that people are happy with my drawings of them is one of the best feelings in the world.
Drawing for French Café and Street Fashion Europe has taught me so much too. I can't wait to start again !
Isn't it a bit too cream ?
Much has happened in those years I can not really count, and lolita fashion still is something that makes me happy, something I'm incredibly grateful for. I'm so thankful for all that it brings me, all that I've become with it and with you all.
Thank you, fashion enthusiasts of everywhere, for being so awesome and staying true to what you love; it is the designers, medias, and ourselves that make and recreate lolita every day and in my eyes it is incredibly beautiful.